Monday, 25 April 2016

You're Just a Sinner I am Told, Be Your Fire When You're Cold, Make You Happy When You're Sad, Make You Good When You Are Bad...

The news of Prince's death really shocked and saddened me, as i'm sure it did many of you. I can remember dancing round the living room with my dad blasting I Would Die 4 U through our stereo. Prince was probably one of the most musical individuals ever to walk the Earth. Talented, funky to the bone, innovative, uncompromising, experimental and so stylish... I could reel off many cliches but i'll leave that to the journalists. Rest In Power Prince!!! <3

For those of you who missed my announcement- I HAD MY BABY! Hence the longggggg gap between posts- being a mama is no joke!! Little Arthur was born in September and is a very beautiful little boy as you will see. I think the weirdest thing about 2015 is that it was consumed unexpectedly by impending motherhood... So a year I assumed I'd spend partying with my friends and getting my life on track turned into a year where I spent the first quarter sleeping, the second quarter trying to attend events with the 'I don't need to drink to have fun' attitude- then failing to leave my house, the third quarter waddling down the road with achy popping hips, unable to fit into anything and crying a lot of the time and the fourth quarter looking after a beautiful newborn baby boy... And yes, it really is as time consuming as people make out!

I really wanted to write about the birth of my son as soon as it happened because birth is such a strange and unique experience and I wanted to get all the detail I could remember in about how it actually felt. I didn't really get the chance in the end but I wrote bits and pieces and i'm going to try and piece it all together now, whist he's lying down next to me asleep. Please note that this will be a warts and all account (**If you're not interested in reading about birth i'd skip to the cute pictures at the end of the post**)

The Birth

It was a cold Thursday evening and I decided I was ready to give birth. My back was aching and I was becoming increasingly fed up of waiting to get it all over with. I know it's common for women to be scared and squeamish about giving birth for the first time, but I was truly petrified. I'd decided I was going to have the baby at the local hospital birthing centre and try to see the whole thing through in a birthing pool... Which I thought i'd eventually have to jump out of as i'd want, no, NEED, more pain medication than was permitted with a water birth. I still hadn't packed my hospital bag as I assumed i'd just throw whatever bits I needed together during early labour. Determined not to spend another day pregnant and nervous I informed my boyfriend that I was going to try and induce labour. I ordered us some Indian food- after much deliberation I decided to take the plunge and ordered a prawn madras, one of the spiciest dishes on the menu. While I ate the curry I complained to my boyfriend that I didn't think it was hot enough to get things moving so decided to give things another boost by eating a tin of chopped pineapples. Spicy food and pineapple are up there with the most recommended things to eat to induce labour and although they don't have any medical backing, about an hour later I started feeling cramping in my stomach.

Now as i'd had similar cramps the few days prior, I really wasn't sure to make of them. As the discomfort increased I started to pace to and fro trying to decipher whether or not I was in the very early stages of labour. I had downloaded an app that times contractions and warned my boyfriend that he might need to be using it in a few hours time. Yet nothing was really jumping out to me as a definite sign of labour. I was uncomfortable and a little warm but I still couldn't be sure what was going on. About two hours after eating the curry my tummy was really starting to become uncomfortable and I was heating up. I was still unsure whether or not I was in early labour, so to take my mind off the pain we decided to lie down on the bed and watch a bit of Luther. However lying down was uncomfortable and everything my partner was doing to try and help me just added to my discomfort. He'd try and give me a back rub and it would make me squirm and I felt so fidgety that I kept coming and going from the toilet.

The next part is unclear in terms of time scale because I was starting to feel really nauseas and I was visiting the bathroom for longer and longer periods of time. I remember vomiting and reporting to Benn that I wouldn't be having another baby as the whole thing was just too much. Words which I said anticipating another 6-10 hours of pain. I decided it was time to find out what was going on, so sat on the cold bathroom tiles, with my head in the toilet bowl, I called the midwife at the birth centre. Unsure of what to say and feeling like a rung out piece of cloth I said something like 'I'm pregnant and not sure whether or not i'm in early labour'. What followed was a relatively frustrating conversation for both of us- the midwife trying her hardest to ascertain what my symptoms were and me trying to articulate that I didn't really know what was going on other than the fact I was in pain and had vomited. As I was experiencing a 'wall of pain' rather than distinct periods that I could confidently label as 'contractions', I was told to monitor myself and call back later as it was unlikely that I was actually in labour. A few minutes later I had rejoined my boyfriend to try and watch more Luther but had to stagger back to the bathroom as I felt a huge wave of nausea. As I threw up in the toilet I felt a gush down my legs. Although I considered that my waters might have broken, it seemed more likely that i'd wet myself as by this point I was just a dizzy, nauseas mess but to be on the safe side I decided it would be best to call the midwife again. This time I was quite clear that I wanted to visit the hospital to see if I was in labour and the midwife agreed that I should come in, though she told me i'd probably be sent home again for a few hours until I was in active labour. After this phone call I told my boyfriend that we'd need to go to the hospital within the next hour or two.

The spanner in the works was this- I really didn't want to poop during labour... And remember i'd had a spicy curry for my tea... So before leaving the house I was absolutely determined that i'd do any grim, spicy poos at home before having any medical professionals poke around inside my vagina. And so for about the next half hour I went back and forth from Benn watching Luther to the toilet trying to poop. It was a really odd sort've feeling- I was so sure I needed to poop but so unable to produce anything. Anyway to cut an excessively gross scene short it turned out it wasn't a poop I was pushng out but the baby! I was crouched over on all fours at the sink when I realised something was really going on and a quick investigation with my hand lead me to the realisation that my baby was on his way out. I screeched and called Benn and as calmly as I could manage, asked him to have a look between my legs to see what was going on. Benn was horrified and not only declined but left the room and started insisting that he pack my bag (I know, I know- who hasn't packed their back this late in their pregnancy?!) and we walk round to the hospital. What followed was a film worthy scene of Benn: stressing, chucking 5 pairs of knickers at me through the door and chastising me for not saying that we needed to have gone to the hospital ages ago.

 Unfortunately I could tell that the hospital portion of the evening was not going to happen in time. I felt another weird wave of pressure and the urge to push some more. A quick feel with my hand revealed what I feared, a body part of the baby was coming through... I'd thought i'd have at least another 3 hours to wait but Arthur had decided not to wait another minute. I screeched Benn again (who was still insisting we go to the hospital to have the baby, LOL) but this time I told him to call an ambulance. He rang the ambulance and stood white as a sheet at the bathroom door. A few pushes later and it felt like Arthur was just hanging out. I was a little worried because I couldn't really see what was going on. I could just feel this large, fleshy mass in between my legs. Starting to become worried I asked him what everything looked like, I can remember Benn saying 'he's coming, he's coming'. With the next push I reached down and just sorta pulled him out onto the floor. I whipped him round to my front, the chord was wrapped round his neck so I tugged it loose. And there he was. Puffy and very white and purply blue. In that moment he didn't look real at all. He cried a little and I clutched him to my chest, our landlord came and wrapped a towel round him and wiped his face. The 999 telephone operator gave us 00.06am as the official time of Arthur's birth- roughly only about 3 hours after the whole thing had begun!

The ambulance people arrived to a scene of me butt naked, crouching in a pool of blood, clinging onto my little purple baby and Benn standing (just about) looking through the door, too overwhelmed to come in. They came in, cut the chord and dressed Arthur. They wanted us to go to the hospital quite quickly and kept instructing me to put a bag together and put some clothes on. I know I must've been out of it cos even with everyone having filed out of the room I was stuck dawdling around, picking up different items of clothing and then discarding them on the floor. In the end I think I just went in a big top, dressing gown and some granny panties to wrap the umbilical chord round so it would stop dragging across the floor, gross. Everyone on the street seemed to be out to have a look at what was going on, everything seemed so surreal. During the short ambulance ride to the hospital everyone was quiet. Me and Benn exchanged a few smiles and I felt that dreaded crampy pain returning.

I think the delivery of the afterbirth was actually worse than delivering Arthur! I hated the hospital bed and my midwife wasn't exactly the nicest to put it lightly. No one told me how trippy gas and air is, that was a nice surprise! I puffed heavily away on it and looked over my shoulder at Benn who was sat holding our bubs and looking down lovingly at him. The midwife poked and prodded my bits as she implored me to push harder and i'm pretty sure I was laughing in a drug induced hysteria as she tugged on my umbilical chord, yanking the afterbirth out... A wholly unpleasant and uncomfortable experience.

I ended up with a few stitches (which was also more scary than birth, I still get flash backs about that) and having to stay in the hospital for a few days.  I have lots more to say about Arthur and motherhood but i'll save that for later...

Benn and Arthur a few hours after he was born

My mum holding Arthur, he's a few days old here

I think Arthur was about 5 months old in this one

I'm gonna add more photos of Arthur to the post so check back on this post over the next few days if you're interested in seeing more recent pics but I just wanna get this up before I start thinking about sleep! 

Also, lots of new stuff on my Etsy and a lot more to be added over the next week so do have a lil look if you're into vintage clothing My Etsy Shop xx

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Did The World Get A Little Bit Colder? No Wiser Just A Little Bit Older. So Slow We Were Bound To Fall Over...

So something i've been wanting to do for a while now is open an online shop- from humble beginnings i'm hoping to grow an empire!!... OK, maybe not quite, but a lil flowing business would be nice to add to the Zizzi's Wardrobe family so here is my start...

If you're an Etsy enthusiast yourself please do drop me your shop and/or profile details. You can check out my shop here!

This is most of the stuff I have up atm, all vintage. I will be adding more in the weeks to come so don't forget to check back regularly... Plus everything is cheapo cheapo- everything listed right now costs less than £20!!

Vintage Alfred Dunner 1980s floral pleated Skirt (SOLD)

Vintage 1990s Oversized Sheer Floral Short Sleeved Blouse With Collar NOW SOLD

Vintage 1980s Tailored Blue and White top with Gold Buttons

Vintage 1980s Black and Gold Velvet and Metallic Long Sleeved Top NOW SOLD

Vintage 1970s Long Sleeved Print Top With High Collar

Vintage 1960s Long Sleeved Patterned Top

Vintage 1970s Mustard Yellow Pleated St Michael Skirt NOW SOLD

(Now Sold)

Vintage Black Patent Mary Jane Shoes- NOW SOLD

Vintage 1990s Denim Dungaree Shorts- NOW SOLD

Vintage 1960s Sleeveless Blue & White Dress With Collar- NOW SOLD

Vintage 1990s Graphic Print Playsuit

Vintage 1980s Joseph Lara Strapless Black Cocktail Dress- NOW SOLD

Vintage 1990s Floaty Floral Playsuit

Vintage 1980s Grey and Black Pleated Dress // Desperately Seeking Susan Style

Vintage 1980s Graphic Print Silk Jacket- SOLD

Vintage Gold Button Clip On Earrings // Costume Jewellery

Large Vintage Baby Pink Earrings for Pierced Ears

Vintage 1990s Black and White Floral Playsuit

I don't have any international shipping profiles up yet cos frankly, i'm far too lazy!! But I am happy to offer international shipping, just drop me a message for a quote if you like something in the shop :)

**Shipping is free on most items to UK customers.**

There's a lot I want to do but my Summer Resolution is to stop talking about things until i've actually done them, so that is what i'm sticking to from now on. Watch this space... xx

(Title = lyrics to 'Wonderful' by Lianne La Havas, from her new album Blood)

Sunday, 26 July 2015

This Evil Eye Has Powers I Would Prize, Your Strange Magic Play, Keep Me From Harm's Way...

This post might seem a little on the random side but i've had the idea sitting in my drafts since the last time I shaved my head 2 YEARS AGO!!... Since I recently returned to my low maintenance lil number one cut I figured this was as good a time as any to release this list of my favourite bald beauties, past and present...

Solange- Any regular visitors to any of my blogs will know how much I LOVE Solange!!... Back when I first chopped all my hair off- I think it was in 2009, Solange was one of the pushing factors in my final decision. Although big chops have become quite commonplace in the last few years, they weren't quite so common back then and Solange got a lot of stick for her bold decision (yes, I should be a comedian)- including a fair few Britney comparisons. In actual fact Solange looked absolutely stunning. As you can see...


Amber Rose- Amber pretty much trademarked the buzzcut bleached blonde look and even though she's added subtle twists every now and again, she's been working this look for yearrrrrrrrrs. I remember watching an Amber interview on Wendy Williams a few years ago where she said something along the lines of 'being the only girl in the world who looks better without hair'... Erm, not sure I quite agree with that, but she definitely looks amazing!!

Natalie Portman- Her face is so pretty that I think she could get away with pretty much any haircut and buzz cutting for her role in V for Vendetta in 2005 was no exception.


Alek Wek- There are a whole host of stunning black models who sport shaved or very low cuts.... Enough for me to make a post dedicated to them exclusively... But this is not that post so i'm going to pick the iconic Sudanese supermodel Alek Wek. Her inclusion on the list is probably a bit of a reach since she usually sports a straight, slicked back mane rather than a very short cut. But I don't care. I wanted her on the list- my list, my rules :p

Ajak Deng- Okay maybe one more model... If I could steal anyone's lips for my own face i'd choose Ajak Deng's without a second thought. Her pout is so full and juicy she puts everyone else to shame. Like really... Her lips are perfectly crafted pillows!!... Anyway, lip envy aside, Ajak works her low cut like art.

Sinead O'Connor- With huge, disney eyes, long eyelashes and a great shaped brow, Sinead has spent the last few decade looking like a beautiful bald pixie. The inspiration behind many women's decision to try the bald look. Sinead is everything.

This list could easily go on, there are so many celebs/models/amazing bloggers/ordinary women on the street who have sported fierce low cuts, some noteworthy celebs being; Grace Bol, NoĆ©mie Lenoir, Lupita N'Yongo, Robin Tunney (in Empire Records, 1995), Eve Salvail, Erykah Badu, Willow Smith. If you love striking bald women like I do, I post pics on this page of my Pinterest

And finally, if you've been thinking about shaving your hair or getting a really low cut, here are  few unsolicited pieces of advice from yours truly to make sure you do the whole thing right:

  • When you have no hair, all the attention falls to your face which highlights anything weird or off balance- EYEBROWS, EYEBROWS, EYEBROWS- your eyebrows shape your face and this is realllly important when you're bald- brows that are plucked too thinly or styled into too much of an arch will look cray with cropped hair. You need a strong, even brow. If you have naturally thick brows, plus points for you. If you have thin, fine or over-plucked brows, shade them out a bit with a brow pencil (i'm not talking scary mary here, keep it natural looking).

  • Your make-up in general makes more of an impact when you're bald! I'm pretty crap at applying blusher and this shows up more now that I don't have any hair covering the sides of my face. Apply blusher sparingly with a decent quality brush and if you're contouring do it subtly- '80s clothes are great, '80s blocky blusher- not so much.

  • Most importantly- Be confident!!!!... Not the kinda cheesy advice I would usually offer but confidence really is the key to pulling this look off. The first time I shaved my hair it made me very unsure of myself. I was quite paranoid about the whole thing and eventually bought into the femininity myth that hair = soft and pretty and bald = hard and ugly. The second time I did it I was a couple of years older and more comfortable with the whole thing. I was also a lot less bothered about how others perceived my look. Consequently I got a lot of positive attention and just generally felt better. The TWA stage was a different story completely, hopefully the next time I have to go through that I can look back at my own advice, ha.
(Title = lyrics to 'Evil Eyes' by Roisin Murphy)

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Can I Get My Co-Defendant Hump De Bump...

28 weeks and i'm ROUND these days. Really round. I also have orange hair, though this was an accident.
I don't have much to say today cos im tired and was only really interested in posting pics so have a look through my new bumpies!!...

By the end of this pregnancy I think my belly button will just be a stretched out mass. Yuck.

(Title = Lyrics to 'Hump De Bump' by Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Saturday, 20 June 2015

I Was Like A Satellite Spinning Away, Almost Lost Forever and Leaving No Trace...

So, after two years the baldy returns! I'm not sure if I cut my hair cos a) I really wanted to, b) I am far too impatient to ever grow really decent length hair or c) I spent too long reading horror stories about post-birth hair loss... Whatever my reasoning, or lack of, it's done now and I intend to stick with cropped styles for at least the rest of this year.

I absolutely hated this photo set when I was first looking over it, but the day after, with a fresh pair of eyes, it didn't seem so bad after all. Flash not co-operating with me during the first half of the shots has allowed for a nice bit of shadow and contrast and the last photo is serving so much warts-and-all, scarred, puffy-eyed realness that I actually kinda like that too...

So there you have it... Buzzed and ready for me to dye the life out of it!
I'll be posting this photoset on Tumblr for Blackout tomorrow morning so if you wish to you can reblog them from here. As usual I request that you don't re-post anything xx

(Title = Lyrics to 'Unstoppable' by Lianne La Havas... Whose own incredible hair is deserving of a blogpost itself, dayum)